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"What do you propose then?" he snapped."I am a known criminal, by Sekhmet's Law. Therefore, should it be known I'm in the city..."
"It won't be known," he interrupted, slicing the air with his hand to silence me, "Do you know why we don't want you to go?"
"Olan knows what they will do to me should they catch me. I can see his need to worry. I am his sister, despite my exile, he is still on my side," I turned my eyes out the window, "But you...I am an exile from a strange land. You could still walk away from all this."
He stared at me in disbelief, "How in the hell can you say that to me?" His voice was filled with his hurt and his anger. I could understand, because I inflicted it.
I looked up at him, praying that my anguish did not show in my eyes, "Because I want you to walk away..."
He looked at me, his voice full of something I couldn't quite decipher, "If I walk away from this, then I walk away from you. You are the reason I started all this; I did it for you. So if you want me to walk away, look me in the eyes and tell me."
I looked at my clenched hands, willing myself not to cry. Crying would do nothing now but show how truly weak I was, "You once told me to never do anything for anyone other than yourself."
He shrugged, "That was then. This is now. Tell me."
I let my hands fall to my sides, a sigh of exasperation softly emitting, "You know I can't do that."
"Then why bring it up?" he demanded.
"You've already suffered enough. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"Have I?" he asked, raising an elegant eyebrow, crossing his arms, "Are you safe? Are you happy? Are you free? All three are no, which means I have not suffered enough."
I winced. So it really is all my fault. I fought to keep the tears from flowing. I would not cry, "If it hadn't been for me..."
He cut me off before I could finish, "Don't dwell on what you can't change, Kat."
I shook my head, looking out the window. The sun had begun it's slow descent from the sky, the horizon just beginning to take on its increasing shades of night, "They'll start the mage-scan soon."
"Maybe I can escape it, maybe I can't, but until then I'm not going to let it worry me to death."
I glanced at him. He always seemed so strong, so sure of himself. I truly admired him for that. As I looked at him, I wished I could be as strong. I knew I wasn't. I knew I wouldn't be for a long time. There were just too many obstacles in my path.
He looked at me, "Kat, they're not scanning for you. They're scanning for me. I just need to leave."
I rose, gathering my hair and tying it off in a tail, "I'm going with you."
"Hold on," he protested, "I am not going to gamble your life."
I shrugged indifferently, "That's a chance I'm willing to take," but my eyes softened, as realization dawned, "And yet you would gamble with yours?"
He turned from me, "It is mine to gamble with."
I released my hair, letting the tail slide down my back, as I took a step forward. Gingerly, I reached out, taking his hand in my own. I kept my eyes lowered, so that he could not see, and so he would not know. Not exactly.
"Krolaun," I said softly, my voice barely audible to my own ears, "From the moment you looked into my eyes, I knew my life would never be the same. Unless you are here with me, the gamble you make with your life will be as if you are gambling with mine."
He turned, his eyes a steel grey, but full of something that spoke to me more than mere words, "Why?" he demanded.
I took his left hand in both of my own, "Need you truly ask why...?"
"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I didn't mean..."
The hand that I held was carefully gloved, always concealed. I knew that there would always be secrets between us. There shouldn't be. There need not be.
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© 1999 E. Angeli Mansfield